Yesterday I went looking for apartments. I'm moving to a smallish town about 45 minutes away. L and I decided to take the opportunity to drop by Wichita and go to a sexy store. An ADULT bookstore. There were very few books there.
So, we drove all over Wichita cause we had no idea where to find a porn store at. L knew of one that she visited like, ten years before, and it was shut down, windows boarded up, et al, when we got there. So we drove down the highway, just keeping an eye out and we saw it. Vegas Video. Kansas' LARGEST ADULT BOOKSTORE!
Kansas must have some lame-ass adult stores. The one in Wyoming I've been to was bigger and had a wider selection of dildos. But anyway...
So, L was all embarrassed going to a porn store. We went in and... it was dimly lit, pretty open, few people visible. The parking lot was packed, but there were only about 4 or 5 people inside that I saw.
L and I went about looking at dildo designs and such. We took a look at the discount rack. There was an issue of like... Bear Monthly which had a huge dude all hairy-like in a sexy pose. We stifled our laughter and continued on our quest.
Eventually a lady came to help out, asked us what we'd like to see. We had our eyes on this one particular dildo. I forget the name, but it was pretty ornamental. The lady showed it to us, it was pretty cool, pretty standard. Had a clitoris stimulator and vibration capability. L asked what kind of value it was and the lady said they tend to break after about a year, they get lots of returns. She pointed us to a slightly more expensive model. She said she had used one for 4 years before it finally broke. She also specifically said she used it heavily while her husband was in Iraq, like, daily. Some might call that TMI, I call that good salesmanship. We bought the 40 dollar dildo, and I drove home with it in my hands on the top of the steering wheel, pointed at my face. It's bright purple, and I intended on letting everyone who passed me on the interstate see my joy at having a dildo pointing at my cranium.
Yes, that really happened, and yes, I got heads to turn.
So, we got home, waited until we had some private time, and we gave that dildo a solid run for its money. I think L used it on herself for about 30 minutes before I went in. We had a little sexy sex in the missionary position for a few minutes, then I whipped out the dildo and experimented for a good... 20 minutes, then I slapped on a condom and proceeded to sex her up for another 10 minutes. By that time we were both pretty exhausted, so we called it a night.
So, I've fallen in love with the dildo. If I were one to have sex with lots of ladies, I would get my own, and use it on all of them like crazy. It's absolutely delightful to me to be able to pleasure someone, and having a tool that makes up for my shortcomings and occasional impotence really makes me feel better about myself as well. We'll probably be going back to that store soon to pick up some different lube (the stuff we picked up there gets really tacky after a few minutes. Maybe it's the water base (which is the only kind you are supposed to use with this kind of dildo) or maybe it was just the brand.) and maybe a cockring or two to see if that helps my impotence. Also, I want to thank that lady for suggesting that particular dildo. Fun times.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
I read an interesting article (Small nudity)
This article is about boob jobs and plastic surgery. If you don't care to read it, here's a quick rundown. This Hollywood actor talks about his personal experiences with dating girls who have gotten some kind of plastic surgery. He ends up feeling like his relationships are based on some kind of dishonest platform when he dates girls who have had implants, and the track record for how long they last after he finds out goes to show how much it bothers him.
He talks about one particular girl that has natural breasticles and how much he loved them, even though they were quite imperfect, one being larger than the other and neither of them looking quite like your usual pair of breasts you see in porn or whatnot.
So anyway, lets talk about bewbies. I love boobs. I can't get enough titties. I likes me some mammaries all up in my face and in my mouth and in my hands. I like poking areolas with the tip of my dick. I like brushing hard nipples with my pecker. Yes, yes, God yes, that is exciting.
I've only seen a few breasts in real life. I mean, I've seen countless jugs on various computer screens and television sets, but right in front of me, I've only had three pairs. The first pair belonged to A, the girl I lost my virginity to. She had a child a few years before, and you could tell to an extent. I really actually loved her breasts until the last time we had sex. It was in broad daylight, we were in the cowgirl position and she was hanging over me doing that weird staring thing that so turned me off (She was crazy and I didn't even want to be having sex with her at that point.) and I looked up at her boobs to see... ew. They were not appealing. Wrinkly and stretched out. I put my hands up and massaged them just to cover up the sight.
However, a few days before, before the shit hit the fan in our relationship, I remember, she had just gotten out of the shower and was only wearing this bathrobe. We were kinda bored and thought playing some video games would be fun. She had this old original playstation and the game Tekken 2 (I think). She hadn't played it in ages, and I had never played it, so we took some time practicing before we had our ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION!
I was steadily kicking her ass at her own game, and getting her all frustrated (in the cute way), so she grabbed my hand and placed it upon her glorious milk-fountain. My game slipped for just a second while I reoriented my other hand onto the controller. For two rounds, I groped AND kicked ass at Tekken 2. I can still feel that breast in my hand. It was amazing, slightly cool and moist to the touch from her recent shower, full and warm underneath, firm and responsive to the pinch. Looking back, I did not spend NEARLY enough time with my tongue on her nipples. My extreme dislike for her as a person now is probably why I was so upset by the last time I saw her hoo-ha's in their sorry state. This post is to glorify breasts, not trod upon them like they are worth less than gold.
So, pair number two, K's breasts. There isn't much to say, they are pretty small, A cups, and they sit a little low on her chest. She's an oddly proportioned girl anyhow. I do like her boulders though, as pebblish as they are. Her favorite way to be turned on (and really, the only one she would admit to liking) was when I would just lick and suck on her nipples. That was probably the coolest
thing. It was so win-win. I loved putting those pink pokers of awesomeness into my mouth, and she loved putting her turkey timers into my mouth. Fucking. Awesome.A weird thing, lets say she wasn't particularly aroused, and I started licking her breasts: At some point, she would shudder, shake just a little bit, the good kind, where you can tell she is experiencing a wave of pleasure; moments after that, her nipples would secret some kind of substance... It was very faint, I'm not sure if it was pheromones or sweat or what, but I would taste this bittersweet taste on my tongue when she became more and more aroused. It fascinated me, and was a good judge of how well I was doing, since she didn't bother to compliment me anyway...
The last pair of knockers, and my current pair, are L's. They're also the biggest I've had, and so far I'm loving them. She's a bit older, and has had a son, so they behave differently than K's. For instance, K's nipples are very sensitive, she can clearly tell when I am rubbing my moist tongue in circles around her hard nipple, whereas L is a little less sensitive there. I actually pinch L's nipples, twist them a little, pull them a little. It was a little upsetting at first, I was afraid I would hurt her, but she really likes it. Now that I'm more comfortable with it, I'm less afraid to get a little rough with her if we are getting that way.
I did my first titty-fuck with L. It's really not that great, for anyone who was wondering. Maybe it's just the way our bodies are shaped in relation to eachother or what, maybe I'll try it again with someone else someday, but there is just not enough stimulation between the breasts for it to be more than a novelty, and the girl doesn't really get that much pleasure from it. I guess if she likes barely licking the tip of a penis that is thrusting her chin... hmmm, maybe the teasing is arousing. I didn't quite think of that. Who am I to say if a woman likes cock in her face anyway? L tells me she loves the cock and "has an itch in her throat" occasionally. I'm always baffled that anyone could WANT to put a wang in their mouth, but apparently L likes it. I'm way off topic now.
I have touched two other pairs of breasts, but I never got to see them. Two girlfriends in high school, we'll call them R and... I don't even remember the other girl's name at the moment... It was a rebound relationship, as much as I hate to say it, I didn't really care about her, I was so obsessed with R at the time that I barely paid this other girl the attention she deserved, and I ended up breaking it off with her because of the guilt.
In conclusion, breasts are absolutely wonderful, in every way. Women should celebrate them as much as men (I know, they're a pain to lug around, but even you can admit that they make you feel sexy when someone you like is touching them and having fun with them. There isn't anything unfun about a dude sticking his face inbetween them and going "ugggublublbulbbllblbulbulbblulblllllmmmmffffmfmfmmffmfhmhfmhfhmmmmhfmhmf")
Sunday, August 17, 2008
The Biggest Problem With Roomates
Specifically, roomates that you must share a bedroom with. You see, I have no time whatsoever to masturbate these days, because there is ALWAYS SOMEONE NEXT TO ME! He has plain view of my computer screen, and plain view of my trousers. It just doesn't work.
Some might say it's no big deal to jerk it while your roomate is sleeping. If you are one of those people saying that, you're fucking weird. I had a roomate in college that watched porn while I tried to sleep. Luckily, he never started playing with his man-toy, but if he did, I would have thrown his ass out the door.
I just think it's courteous to refrain from shuddering orgasms when people are trying to get some shuteye is all. Anyway, I like masturbating. If I'm alone and bored, I would probably do it three or four times in a normal week. Nowadays, I do it almost zero times a week. (Sexings are a different story, and that is on average once a week, because getting in the mood at a normal time (When the lady friend that is willing to put my wang in our mouth is awake and willing) and wanting some two-person action just doesn't always line up properly.)
Zero, that is, until I rediscovered PSP porn. Yes, the Playstation Portable, in conjunction with PSP Video 9 (Video conversion software) and a few websites that allow downloading of porn clips, can be a means of arousal in the privacy of one's bathroom.
So now, when I get in the mood, I can just discreetly start listening to music on the PSP, then stick it in my pocket and head for the bathroom. Flip to the porn, flop out the dick, cup the balls, work the shaft, etc. done and done. (If you want motivation to clean any bathroom fixtures or accessories, jizz on it. Then you HAVE to clean it up to prevent your housemates from leaning of your filthy filthy habit.)
There are only a few minor problems with this. For one, the PSP screen is way too small. Breasts are like dots that somewhat amorphously bounce to sexual rhythms and cocks are only a pixel wide at times. Occasionally too, if I don't have some high quality stuff to convert, I get blocky grainy bodies doing the nasty, and I can't tell if I'm getting off looking at two girls licking each other or two dudes. I end up having to imagine what I want to see instead of what I am seeing, and then I start asking myself why I bothered sneaking my PSP into the bathroom anyway if I'm just going to use my imagination to speed up the rate of my climax, cause really, I only watch the porn to waste less time having sex with myself (I can save five minutes if I have something to look at while I go underhand. Three if overhand.).
Speaking of overhand vs. underhand, I was demonstrating and discussing masturbation with L, my current sexytime companion that I live with. Going overhand is nice sometimes, because the natural curvature of the fingers when clenched around a penis, allows for more stimulation. You see, if you make a circle with your fingers (like you are looking through your hands, pretending they are binoculars), and then stick your johnson through it, each finger hole starts small, and as you thrust through, it has to open up to allow the head entry. This gives stimulation to the entire glans head, tip to crown (for us circumcised gentleman. Can't say for your natural-born man-pistons.) and both entry and exit during the cycle of thrust. When using underhand, you don't quite get the same stimulation, because the middle and index fingers don't naturally close in the same way as the ring and pinky fingers. So it's like pushing into a vagina, but pulling out of a paper towel roll, that kinda feels good. There just isn't the same stimulation on the helmet. Going in is from tip to crown, coming out is all crown.
There is a downside to overhand though. Dexterity. I was playing with a Mexican children's toy the other day (You perverts) which is basically a version of ball in the cup that some people play with today (sick perverts.). (I say it was a Mexican children's toy because it was painted red and green and the girl that let me play with her stick and ball (perverts)was of Latin descent. I really don't know and I might be racist.(I'm not)) The main difference is that Mexican parents enjoy torturing their kids or something, because this is like the Anti-Christ of ball in the cup games. You hold a little dowel, about 6 inches long and half an inch wide (That's about 13 cm by 1 cm for those of you that hate America.) that has an attached string that connects to a big wooden ball, with a 1/2 inch hole in it. What you do is hold the stick in your hand, and fling the wooden ball up onto the stick, connecting the two holes. It's more difficult than it sounds.
The way this relates to masturbation: You get one point for holding the stick upright in your hand, the way you would hold a glass of water, or a gun, or a wang in the underhand position.
You get FIFTY points for holding it with your arm twisted upside down, the way you would hold, say, a glass of water you were pouring out, a gun upside down, or a phallus in the overhand position.
I'm slightly off track. What I'm trying to say is that masturbating in the overhand position feels good because it covers more surface area, but you don't have the same degree of control or speed than you do in underhand because it uses different muscles. (Overhand utilizes the triceps more, which are not developed for small motor skills, but rather large ones, like punching the shit out of things. Underhand uses various muscles in your torso, such as your pectoral and lateral muscles, in conjunction with the bicep.) Suffice it to say, overhand is like a fine wine. Smooth, sensual, particular. Underhand is like fast food. Cheap and gets the job done nicely.
I like to change it up a bit, but underhand is usually my preferred method of masturbation.
Come to think of it, I believe I would pay to see a girl masturbate underhanded... Think about it for a second...
Some might say it's no big deal to jerk it while your roomate is sleeping. If you are one of those people saying that, you're fucking weird. I had a roomate in college that watched porn while I tried to sleep. Luckily, he never started playing with his man-toy, but if he did, I would have thrown his ass out the door.
I just think it's courteous to refrain from shuddering orgasms when people are trying to get some shuteye is all. Anyway, I like masturbating. If I'm alone and bored, I would probably do it three or four times in a normal week. Nowadays, I do it almost zero times a week. (Sexings are a different story, and that is on average once a week, because getting in the mood at a normal time (When the lady friend that is willing to put my wang in our mouth is awake and willing) and wanting some two-person action just doesn't always line up properly.)
Zero, that is, until I rediscovered PSP porn. Yes, the Playstation Portable, in conjunction with PSP Video 9 (Video conversion software) and a few websites that allow downloading of porn clips, can be a means of arousal in the privacy of one's bathroom.
So now, when I get in the mood, I can just discreetly start listening to music on the PSP, then stick it in my pocket and head for the bathroom. Flip to the porn, flop out the dick, cup the balls, work the shaft, etc. done and done. (If you want motivation to clean any bathroom fixtures or accessories, jizz on it. Then you HAVE to clean it up to prevent your housemates from leaning of your filthy filthy habit.)
There are only a few minor problems with this. For one, the PSP screen is way too small. Breasts are like dots that somewhat amorphously bounce to sexual rhythms and cocks are only a pixel wide at times. Occasionally too, if I don't have some high quality stuff to convert, I get blocky grainy bodies doing the nasty, and I can't tell if I'm getting off looking at two girls licking each other or two dudes. I end up having to imagine what I want to see instead of what I am seeing, and then I start asking myself why I bothered sneaking my PSP into the bathroom anyway if I'm just going to use my imagination to speed up the rate of my climax, cause really, I only watch the porn to waste less time having sex with myself (I can save five minutes if I have something to look at while I go underhand. Three if overhand.).
Speaking of overhand vs. underhand, I was demonstrating and discussing masturbation with L, my current sexytime companion that I live with. Going overhand is nice sometimes, because the natural curvature of the fingers when clenched around a penis, allows for more stimulation. You see, if you make a circle with your fingers (like you are looking through your hands, pretending they are binoculars), and then stick your johnson through it, each finger hole starts small, and as you thrust through, it has to open up to allow the head entry. This gives stimulation to the entire glans head, tip to crown (for us circumcised gentleman. Can't say for your natural-born man-pistons.) and both entry and exit during the cycle of thrust. When using underhand, you don't quite get the same stimulation, because the middle and index fingers don't naturally close in the same way as the ring and pinky fingers. So it's like pushing into a vagina, but pulling out of a paper towel roll, that kinda feels good. There just isn't the same stimulation on the helmet. Going in is from tip to crown, coming out is all crown.
There is a downside to overhand though. Dexterity. I was playing with a Mexican children's toy the other day (You perverts) which is basically a version of ball in the cup that some people play with today (sick perverts.). (I say it was a Mexican children's toy because it was painted red and green and the girl that let me play with her stick and ball (perverts)was of Latin descent. I really don't know and I might be racist.(I'm not)) The main difference is that Mexican parents enjoy torturing their kids or something, because this is like the Anti-Christ of ball in the cup games. You hold a little dowel, about 6 inches long and half an inch wide (That's about 13 cm by 1 cm for those of you that hate America.) that has an attached string that connects to a big wooden ball, with a 1/2 inch hole in it. What you do is hold the stick in your hand, and fling the wooden ball up onto the stick, connecting the two holes. It's more difficult than it sounds.
The way this relates to masturbation: You get one point for holding the stick upright in your hand, the way you would hold a glass of water, or a gun, or a wang in the underhand position.
You get FIFTY points for holding it with your arm twisted upside down, the way you would hold, say, a glass of water you were pouring out, a gun upside down, or a phallus in the overhand position.
I'm slightly off track. What I'm trying to say is that masturbating in the overhand position feels good because it covers more surface area, but you don't have the same degree of control or speed than you do in underhand because it uses different muscles. (Overhand utilizes the triceps more, which are not developed for small motor skills, but rather large ones, like punching the shit out of things. Underhand uses various muscles in your torso, such as your pectoral and lateral muscles, in conjunction with the bicep.) Suffice it to say, overhand is like a fine wine. Smooth, sensual, particular. Underhand is like fast food. Cheap and gets the job done nicely.
I like to change it up a bit, but underhand is usually my preferred method of masturbation.
Come to think of it, I believe I would pay to see a girl masturbate underhanded... Think about it for a second...
Friday, August 15, 2008
Serious questions I ask myself
A few days ago, an old friend of mine and I were chatting via MSN messenger. She's about 27 years old now, single, never married, virgin, Mormon. We get along really well, and have overcome issues in our friendship only to have a stronger bond at the end of the tribulation.
Over the course of our conversation, she mentioned that I should come visit her (she insists I visit her just about every conversation we have, this is not the unusual part) and console her because she hates her job. Jokingly, I told her that my main method of "consolation" violates important parts of her religion. (Fucking. I console people with orgasms, if you didn't catch the reference.)
To my surprise, she told me she would take... Well, let me just copy-paste a couple sections of our conversation:
J says:
YOU come over and console me
Chris says:
my methods of consolation violate your religion XD
J says:
Well I'll take a day off from my religion then
Chris says:
...
J says:
just a day
J says:
or two
Chris says:
O_O
Chris says:
don't tempt me
J says:
better round it up to a week
Now, normally, I'd just assume she was joking, but knowing J, I recognize little patterns she makes that show me that she really wants something. Generally, she will continually bring up a topic that she wants to discuss in a really abstract manner. For instance, I remember a time that no matter what I or anyone else in our group of friends asked her, she would always respond with "Ice cream" until finally someone said, "Do you want to go get ice cream?" and she would jump up excitedly and run to the car.
Keeping that in mind, later in the conversation, she brought up the topic again:
J says:
you've got no excitment for the big week
Chris says:
the big week?
J says:
ya
Chris says:
the week is big?
J says:
the week I'm taking off
J says:
when you come and "console" me
Chris says:
I'd be more excited if you were serious, because it would honestly be completely unforgettable
J says:
or whatever you crazy kids call it these days
Chris says:
haha
J says:
I'll just make a memo in my calander,"This week off" and you come adorned with whip cream
J says:
fair enough?
Chris says:
we're going to need lots of whipped cream then
Chris says:
and strawberries
J says:
bring it on
J says:
I want to hear what all the craze is about
Okay, so now we have background out of the way. Regardless of what happens between J and I in the future (Likely not much, but you never know.) it brings up some serious philosophical questions about the way we live our lives.
Imagine yourself for a moment as someone who was told their entire lives that the world was flat. Everyone you trusted and believed in told you the world was flat and that such a flat stable surface was a metaphor for how to live your life because it is healthy and wise, blah blah. Then, you get in a rocket ship by some chance and you see, the earth is ROUND! Imagine the heartache. Everything you believed, everything you based your life around, every person you trusted, wrong. All based on false information. It would be incredibly depressing and incredibly disruptive to your psyche.
So, imagine J, 27, virgin, wanting to get married, her ovaries are screaming for stimulation and baby making. Her church teaches her that living righteously will eventually yield a husband, but physiologically, her body is saying that she needs to get some cock.
Having been a Mormon, and disagreeing with many of the rather arbitrary beliefs, it's my personal belief that sex is a good thing for people. I agree with Dr. Kinsey that postponing sexual drive is unhealthy. The conflict in my particular scenario though is, which is more damaging? Postponing her sex drive, or knowingly engaging in something she has always believed was morally wrong?
I have a few ideas of how things would work out in this scenario. They would all start like so:
We'd see eachother, do our catching up, maybe watch a movie, and generally end up just talking for long hours into the night, like we usually do.
THEN:
1.) While both tired and foggy in our heads, we do something sexual. Not necessarily full intercourse, but probably just fooling around.
2.) While both tired and foggy, we start to do something sexual, but one of us says, "Wait, let's talk about this." and we decide not to.
3.) While both tired and foggy, we start to do something sexual, but one of us says, "wait," and we decide to continue.
4.) We cuddle and that's it.
5.) We cuddle and fall asleep together, then the next day, repeat the talking late into the night, except we cuddle, then get busy with the furious humping.
There are countless variations that could perceivably happen concerning the sexy time, but AFTER the act (or acts if she likes what I can do with my tongue), there are only a handful of possibilities.
1.) She does her best to repent and move on away from the sexuality, furthering the sexual repression, which is later allowed to blossom when she eventually gets married.
2.) She does some thinking similar to what I did, and slowly moves away from her faith.
The question I ask myself, is do I want to be the instigator of what could possibly be more destructive than what I believe her religion is? Can I be someone that upsets the status quo? Should I?
Taoism teaches us action without action. Meeting firmness with softness, and vice versa. Is her softness and reluctance to be sexual something I should meet with firmness (snicker) and resolve? Keep in mind, that I would never force sexuality on someone that is unwilling, but since J has brought it up and showed some subtle interest in it, should I push the issue or let it be?
I've already made up my mind, but the questions will haunt me for a long time I imagine. With the information I have so far, I cannot be the aggressor. I will not. If she expresses explicit interest, and only if we have a serious long discussion about the subject will anything non-platonic between us happen.
Afterword from another perspective:
Hello, this is Chris' man-piston, and I want to get with J. I want to all night long. I want to. All. Night. Hard.
Over the course of our conversation, she mentioned that I should come visit her (she insists I visit her just about every conversation we have, this is not the unusual part) and console her because she hates her job. Jokingly, I told her that my main method of "consolation" violates important parts of her religion. (Fucking. I console people with orgasms, if you didn't catch the reference.)
To my surprise, she told me she would take... Well, let me just copy-paste a couple sections of our conversation:
J says:
YOU come over and console me
Chris says:
my methods of consolation violate your religion XD
J says:
Well I'll take a day off from my religion then
Chris says:
...
J says:
just a day
J says:
or two
Chris says:
O_O
Chris says:
don't tempt me
J says:
better round it up to a week
Now, normally, I'd just assume she was joking, but knowing J, I recognize little patterns she makes that show me that she really wants something. Generally, she will continually bring up a topic that she wants to discuss in a really abstract manner. For instance, I remember a time that no matter what I or anyone else in our group of friends asked her, she would always respond with "Ice cream" until finally someone said, "Do you want to go get ice cream?" and she would jump up excitedly and run to the car.
Keeping that in mind, later in the conversation, she brought up the topic again:
J says:
you've got no excitment for the big week
Chris says:
the big week?
J says:
ya
Chris says:
the week is big?
J says:
the week I'm taking off
J says:
when you come and "console" me
Chris says:
I'd be more excited if you were serious, because it would honestly be completely unforgettable
J says:
or whatever you crazy kids call it these days
Chris says:
haha
J says:
I'll just make a memo in my calander,"This week off" and you come adorned with whip cream
J says:
fair enough?
Chris says:
we're going to need lots of whipped cream then
Chris says:
and strawberries
J says:
bring it on
J says:
I want to hear what all the craze is about
Okay, so now we have background out of the way. Regardless of what happens between J and I in the future (Likely not much, but you never know.) it brings up some serious philosophical questions about the way we live our lives.
Imagine yourself for a moment as someone who was told their entire lives that the world was flat. Everyone you trusted and believed in told you the world was flat and that such a flat stable surface was a metaphor for how to live your life because it is healthy and wise, blah blah. Then, you get in a rocket ship by some chance and you see, the earth is ROUND! Imagine the heartache. Everything you believed, everything you based your life around, every person you trusted, wrong. All based on false information. It would be incredibly depressing and incredibly disruptive to your psyche.
So, imagine J, 27, virgin, wanting to get married, her ovaries are screaming for stimulation and baby making. Her church teaches her that living righteously will eventually yield a husband, but physiologically, her body is saying that she needs to get some cock.
Having been a Mormon, and disagreeing with many of the rather arbitrary beliefs, it's my personal belief that sex is a good thing for people. I agree with Dr. Kinsey that postponing sexual drive is unhealthy. The conflict in my particular scenario though is, which is more damaging? Postponing her sex drive, or knowingly engaging in something she has always believed was morally wrong?
I have a few ideas of how things would work out in this scenario. They would all start like so:
We'd see eachother, do our catching up, maybe watch a movie, and generally end up just talking for long hours into the night, like we usually do.
THEN:
1.) While both tired and foggy in our heads, we do something sexual. Not necessarily full intercourse, but probably just fooling around.
2.) While both tired and foggy, we start to do something sexual, but one of us says, "Wait, let's talk about this." and we decide not to.
3.) While both tired and foggy, we start to do something sexual, but one of us says, "wait," and we decide to continue.
4.) We cuddle and that's it.
5.) We cuddle and fall asleep together, then the next day, repeat the talking late into the night, except we cuddle, then get busy with the furious humping.
There are countless variations that could perceivably happen concerning the sexy time, but AFTER the act (or acts if she likes what I can do with my tongue), there are only a handful of possibilities.
1.) She does her best to repent and move on away from the sexuality, furthering the sexual repression, which is later allowed to blossom when she eventually gets married.
2.) She does some thinking similar to what I did, and slowly moves away from her faith.
The question I ask myself, is do I want to be the instigator of what could possibly be more destructive than what I believe her religion is? Can I be someone that upsets the status quo? Should I?
Taoism teaches us action without action. Meeting firmness with softness, and vice versa. Is her softness and reluctance to be sexual something I should meet with firmness (snicker) and resolve? Keep in mind, that I would never force sexuality on someone that is unwilling, but since J has brought it up and showed some subtle interest in it, should I push the issue or let it be?
I've already made up my mind, but the questions will haunt me for a long time I imagine. With the information I have so far, I cannot be the aggressor. I will not. If she expresses explicit interest, and only if we have a serious long discussion about the subject will anything non-platonic between us happen.
Afterword from another perspective:
Hello, this is Chris' man-piston, and I want to get with J. I want to all night long. I want to. All. Night. Hard.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
And I thought I had more to talk about
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Intro
Thanks for reading. I decided to try and find an outlet for my thoughts concerning sex. Considering my family and the friends I've grown up with, I felt that these thoughts would be unwelcome on my usual blog, yet at the same time, I don't want to merely keep a journal, because part of me feels the need to get it out.
So! This blog will detail everything sexual that I encounter that leads me to blog about it. I'm very graphic and unafraid to explain the gritty details of my thoughts or acts because I think dancing around subjects and avoiding taboos makes for confusion and unease that I believe does not belong in our society.
I am a 21 year old male. I have lots of body hair and had severe acne until recently. I was raised Mormon and became inactive in early 2004, officially declaring myself an unbeliever in late 2006. My penis curves downward abruptly, and possibly has slight tissue damage resulting from a habit I had at a young age (I may go into it more later.). I consider myself straight, but I got a blowjob from a man once.
So! This blog will detail everything sexual that I encounter that leads me to blog about it. I'm very graphic and unafraid to explain the gritty details of my thoughts or acts because I think dancing around subjects and avoiding taboos makes for confusion and unease that I believe does not belong in our society.
I am a 21 year old male. I have lots of body hair and had severe acne until recently. I was raised Mormon and became inactive in early 2004, officially declaring myself an unbeliever in late 2006. My penis curves downward abruptly, and possibly has slight tissue damage resulting from a habit I had at a young age (I may go into it more later.). I consider myself straight, but I got a blowjob from a man once.
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