Blow Jobs

I'd like to write about Blow Jobs right now. I'd like to inform you of the joys of dick sucking. Also, dick licking, which is not to be confused with javelin shining or "lubing the man-piston" which refers to a hand job.

No, today the topic is mouth on cock contact. For a few reasons, some of which I don't fully understand, oral sex is one of my favorite things. There is just something erotic about it that turns me on more than most anything else. I enjoy watching and experiencing a good blow job.

The part of my psyche I understand best, is why I enjoy receiving a blow job. It's the gift factor. Many people get some satisfaction from giving gifts, and many people enjoy receiving them. So a blow job, to me, is a fanfuckingtastic gift. I never expect it, I'm half afraid to ask for one most of the time, and it sometimes makes me anxious, but once I get over that, and I just relax and let it happen, it's amazing.

Then part of me, mostly when seeing it, also feels this foreign dominance thing that I don't fully understand. Sometimes, I find it arousing to see a rough choking blow job in a "take it!" kind of way, though at the same time, it kind of disgusts me.

I don't want to delve too much into the psychology of it all, but I want to illustrate that I'm conflicted on the oral fun times because of my upbringing.

See, I grew up Mormon, taught to give give give and always be modest. Taught to practically worship a woman and always be chivalrous, and to never let them hold rank in the church... er... nevermind.

So, for whatever reason, growing up, the idea of a woman enjoying a penis in her mouth was quite horrifying. I grew up thinking that women only did it because guys expected it and got nothing out of it whatsoever. Naturally, the thought of asking for it made me feel sick about my desires.

Perhaps that's part of the appeal of watching porn with lots of oral sex in it. Part of me finds it to be unacceptable, and therefore alluring. The rebellious nature of the act entices me. Moving on...

So, my girlfriend, R, gives great head. The best, by far. My first blow was quite disappointing (hey, the woman thought she was Jesus and therefore too good to "bow down" to me and suck my dick. No surprise that she didn't put effort into it when I got up the courage to ask.) My second was also disappointing when K told me that she might throw up because of the taste (this also was after a long trying time of getting my courage up.)

L wasn't bad at it though. She and I had discussed it for a long time and she told me she loved to do it and really wanted to give me a good experience. I ended up so nervous that I couldn't come, but she really didn't do a bad job, and she put a lot of effort into it, which I appreciated. With practice, she got better and I got more comfortable with it. Though sometimes it would hurt, whatever she was doing. I dunno if it was just dry mouth or teeth or what. Anyway...

The first time R gave me a blow job, I didn't last long. It was quite great. We got a rhythm going, and I was thrusting my hips just a little bit, wave after wave of pleasure just washing over me. I expected her to just move away when I was going to jizz, and work the hand and avoid the splooge, but she didn't. I gave the warning, but she stayed put, and actually, I was so surprised at this, that I didn't hardly feel the orgasm. I just looked amazed, staring at her hair, thinking, "NO. FUCKING. WAY."

I'm currently working on enjoying the blow job a bit more, and asking for it when I want it. If I overcome these little psychological blocks, perhaps I can gain some insight about myself and my likes and dislikes.

Also, got my dingy licked by an old high school buddy. I'll call him E. E and I got drunk one night and I let him suck me off. He had asked when we were sober, and I decided I would let him before we started drinking. (The drinking and mild curiosity were actually exclusive to one another, believe it or not.)

Beard stubble is not appealing to the penis skin. Couldn't climax either, because I wasn't really attracted to him. Poor guy.